Anxiety is a tricky beast. It’s not a monster that comes out of nowhere—it has an origin story, one that’s often rooted deep in our personal histories, woven into the very fabric of who we are. If we were to think of anxiety as a character in a grand narrative, its origin might not be a single event, but a series of core memories that shape the way we move through the world. These core memories, like pieces of a puzzle, offer clues to the emergence of anxious thoughts and feelings.

The Birth of Anxiety: Core Memories

Anxiety doesn’t typically arrive all at once. Instead, it often grows out of experiences that leave an imprint on us. These are the moments that may seem small or insignificant at the time but later reveal themselves as turning points—core memories. They are the quiet whispers of doubt, fear, or uncertainty that begin to build up and echo through our minds as we grow older.

Core memories could be as simple as:

• Childhood Rejection: A child raising their hand to answer a question, only to be laughed at by classmates. This moment of embarrassment can lead to a fear of public speaking, planting the seed for social anxiety.
• Early Failures: Struggling to learn how to ride a bike or failing a math test can foster feelings of inadequacy. Over time, these feelings compound and develop into performance anxiety, where the fear of failure looms large.
• Unmet Expectations: Growing up with high expectations—whether self-imposed or placed by others—can create a sense of anxiety around achievement. Perfectionism may take root, accompanied by the dread of falling short.
• Family Dynamics: Perhaps your household was filled with tension, uncertainty, or constant stress. Those early environments can create a heightened state of alertness, making your nervous system primed for anxiety in any unknown situation.

These moments are not just memories—they become lenses through which we see ourselves and the world around us. Over time, the mind starts associating certain situations with danger, even if there’s no immediate threat. Anxiety, in this sense, becomes a way of preparing for perceived threats, a defense mechanism built on those earlier experiences.

The Snowball Effect: How Core Memories Feed Anxiety

What’s fascinating about anxiety is that it builds on itself. One core memory of rejection or failure doesn’t exist in isolation. Like a snowball rolling down a hill, these memories collect more instances of anxiety-inducing situations along the way. They form patterns in our minds, teaching us that certain actions or situations will lead to discomfort or fear.

For example, let’s say you had a core memory of being criticized by a teacher for your handwriting. As a child, this might seem like a one-off event, but it can grow into a fear of being judged, not just by teachers, but by peers, employers, or even strangers. Eventually, the act of writing or presenting anything becomes fraught with tension, even if the initial memory feels distant or trivial.

Rewriting the Origin Story

Here’s where things get hopeful. Just because anxiety’s origin story is built on core memories doesn’t mean we’re destined to stay trapped in that narrative. The brain is an incredible thing—it has the ability to change, adapt, and heal. Just as anxiety was built on repeated experiences, it can also be rewired through new experiences, healthier patterns, and conscious effort.

By identifying and unpacking these core memories, we can begin to understand where our anxiety comes from and take steps to confront it. The first step is awareness—recognizing the moments that planted the seeds of anxiety in our lives. From there, we can start to challenge those old narratives:

• Was that failure really so catastrophic?
• Does that one moment of rejection mean we’re unworthy?
• Are the expectations we placed on ourselves realistic?

In many ways, this process is like editing a story. The plot points remain, but the way we interpret them can change. We can shift the focus, find new meanings, and ultimately take control of the narrative.

Owning the Story

Anxiety’s origin story is a personal one. It’s shaped by core memories, by the experiences we’ve internalized over time. But like any story, it can be rewritten. Understanding the roots of our anxiety is the first step toward reclaiming our sense of peace and balance. By revisiting those core memories and reframing the way we see them, we can take the power back, transforming anxiety from an overwhelming force into something more manageable—and ultimately, something we can overcome.

In this sense, anxiety doesn’t have to be the villain of our story. It can become a guide, showing us where we need to heal, where we need to grow, and how we can change the way we relate to the world around us. And that’s an origin story worth telling.